christopher_oddrich

You take a deep breath and think hard about this problem. Think carefully, step by step.

“Actually, I think you should try to do this without thinking.”

First it was Trump, then Elon, then this. (Is everyone destined to insanity?) Everyone’s an entertainer these days. Super entertainers, even. And what’s with the names? Our world looks like it was optimized for entertainment: Superentertaining figures; Trump, Musk. Nominative determinism: Sam Bankman-Fried, Plotkin, so many more that it strains credulity. Scott Alexander has many good instances sprinkled throughout his writings. Gwern has a nice collection, as does Roland Crosby. Crazy names in general. Synchronicity.

“I have to be a crackpot” I said. Kelsey looked up at me. She was taking off her boots. For a few seconds she just stared at me. Then she started to smile. A mischievous smile. “That’s funny, because I like crack and I Iike pot.”

What you need to understand about Zachary is that he’s not your usual run-of-the-mill SF mansion owner. Ugh. Why am I saying that. What does that even mean? Cringe. I guess I’m starting to get nervous. What I mean to say is that Zachary, sweet serious neoliberal Zachary, has the peculiar hobby of —

“MOVE!” I look out the passenger window towards the voice. It’s a cop. Oh.

Like the universe herself, America’s power grid is going to end not with a bang but with a whimper. The same appears to be true for my date. I had just gotten home from the “party” with Kelsey when I was very suddenly struck by the realization that the suspicious DM I had received earlier that day had used my secret word.

Good afternoon, dear reader. My name is John Moriarty. I live in The Ivy on 3200 N Lake Shore Dr. I believe in taking care of myself. Not everyone here feels the same way, a fact which never ceases to disgust your [adjective] narrator.